I Showed up at the Dog Groomer Instead of For My Hair Appointment…

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Since I started working for the family business and am spending more time getting ready to teach a social media class at the UW, I’ve had little to no extra time to write here. I miss it. Working part-time has been an interesting balancing act that has had both good and bad outcomes.

The first month I went back to work, I was pretty much a wreck. I forgot a birthday, didn’t pay the monthly piano lesson bill, and showed up at the dog groomers instead of for my hair appointment—and even now, I’m sure I’m neglecting to remember what else I forgot. If you know, don’t remind me, please. It’s over. :)

That first month back at work I thought: I suck. I’m not good at balancing lots of things at one time. What’s wrong with me?

One night I woke up at 3 a.m. in a panic thinking about everything I needed to get done that week. I never did go back to sleep that night. I was a wreck.

The next day, I decided I had to make some serious changes.

Time to take charge of myself.

I remembered what my mom, teachers, and closest friends have always said:

That I actually do my best under pressure with lots of things going on at once.

I know this is true. Why haven’t I been “on”? Why do I feel so lame? Why can’t I pull it all together? Why does it look so easy for everyone else?

*Ding ding ding*

Because I’ve been out of the game for a LONG time. Working outside the house will take a little time to adjust to. I’ve been at home taking care of my babies, which I love to do, for ten years. I’ve had a different mindset. It’s been all about mommyhood, family, school, activities, menus, and all that other stuff us parents think about…

But now, I have to expand my mindset. It’s important. I need to push myself. It’s good for me deep down to challenge myself—that I know for sure!

So, I pulled myself together, got myself organized, decided to change my thought process, dug in, and got to work by giving myself permission to have parameters and say “No” a little more to certain things.

It’s working.

I’m feeling more “on it”. I have my calender under control, and I’m not putting up with some of the crap from people who I was putting up with before. That has been an unforeseen bonus.

I’ve also noticed that although I’m still doing everything I was doing before in my role as stay-at-home mom, I’m not catering to our kids every whim. I simply don’t have time for that. I don’t even want to.

I’m wondering, have I been negatively enabling the kids as they have gotten older by doing too much for them?

They should do things for themselves that they are capable of doing. Right? Why not?

You want a glass of water and we’re both sitting here together? You go get that glass of water and while you’re at it, would you please get me one as well?

I don’t mean this harshly; I just mean I was not teaching them how to do things for themselves well enough because I was doing too much for them. I thought I was being loving by doing this. I see now that I was doing them a disservice in the end. Yes, I can get them a glass of water if I’m in the vicinity, but they can get their own water if they are in the vicinity.

I think this is a great side affect from working part-time. Not that you need to be working outside the house to achieve what I’m talking about here. I’m not saying that at all!!! I could have done this before I was working, but my new circumstances have given me the push and vision that I personally needed to lay down the law in a little more definitive and proactive way.

This is a good thing. And I don’t mean that in any sort of Martha Stewart way!

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