“Have patience with all things, but chiefly have patience with yourself. Do not lose courage in considering your own imperfections but instantly set about remedying them – every day begin the task anew.” ~ St. Francis de Sales
My chest is heavy and my eyes are begging to tear. I’ve been swallowing the lump since I met my students this am, already sitting at the kitchen table, ready to start their day. Standing above them, I take note of the energy in the room; Corbin (10) is quiet and Anna (7) blurts “what do I start, mama?” Oliver (8) is clearly battling a case of goofy; which is not an ally of his easy distraction. I skimmed through three homeschool resource books, drew up lesson plans plus 30 math facts for each child, and created journal entries last night while the family watched a movie. I bounce between three syllabuses all day long, and I’m suddenly struck with “what the hell am I doing?!”
It’s one of those curriculums that gently expects you to be creatively sharp every day of your life. At any given moment, it wants me to create my own impromptu math story problems and verbally deliver them to Anna. Corbin is supposed to read to me and discuss her book and Oliver is supposed to be mastering cursive and copying paragraphs that I have written for him in cursive (um. do you write in cursive anymore!?). All of which requires ME. It is very hands on, which is great. It’s… why I’ve committed to homeschooling the kids. But, I am realizing I’m totally rusty or have forgotten the PROCESSES that I need to have memorized and mastered in order to give the kids the right foundation in their education. I’m relearning while teaching and I HATE saying “I don’t know.” So, I don’t. I just get frustrated. (It’s a fault of mine). I try to make myself feel better by saying “an English teacher would be struggling with math for a third grader, too”.
So, when I’ve about had enough of the negative chatter, I summon Nicole, my truth toughie best friend. She simply said “Confidence, dear”. I scoff at it, but it beckons my attention throughout the day alongside the tight chest.
CONFIDENCE… I add patience, Andrea.
Allen and Oliver head out after our school day is over, and he shoots me a text of Ollies comment: “I want to homeschool my kids”
I guess not all is lost. There’s always tomorrow.
*Do you homeschool? How do you keep inspired? Why did you decide to homeschool? What are the benefits? What are the draw backs? If you don’t homeschool, would you consider it? If not, why?